All Things Have Become New
To be quite honest I have been having a hard time coming up with an article to post this month. I had several ideas, and as I considered them I did not feel right about posting any of them. There was no inspiration. As I prayed prior to composing and posting this article, The Lord gave me the inspiration to share various personal experiences that I've had in my life with the Lord. It is not to show how special I am or to make me seem so spiritual. On the contrary, I am as ordinary as anyone can be. And let's face it, most people for lack of a better way of putting it, are ordinary. Hence, the reason I believe the Lord put the inspiration in my heart to share these experiences is to bring home the point that anyone, ordinary or not, can have these encounters with God because it is God who desires relationship with us. From the beginning of the Bible to this very day whether people want to believe it or not God is in hot pursuit for all of us. I am no more special than anyone else.
Some of what I share in these articles might have been mentioned here and there in other articles. However, much has not been. So let me begin where it all started. I have shared some of this in my last article, “No More Looking Back.” It's ironic, but to share these experiences I do have to look back. The looking back in these cases is to show just how good God is even when it looks and feels like He's abandoned us.
The year 1974 was one of the best years of my life, speaking strictly from a secular standpoint. I was a film major at the C.W. Post campus of Long Island University on Long Island, New York. The beginning of 1974 I was in the winter/spring semester of my freshman year. My grades were very good. I enjoyed my job at a full service gas station. I became assistant stage manager of the campus theater's spring time play production, which was a blast.
I also met the girl of my dreams. She was a human barbie doll. The only difference was that she had brown eyes instead of blue. Although the Counter Culture Revolution had made it's impact, she was old fashioned as was I. Not that I didn't have my issues. I could be ill tempered to say the least and cuss in a manner that would make a sailor blush. Morally, however, I was old fashioned. Our tastes in just about everything was the same.
The summer break of 1974 was a dream summer to me, spending time with her. In the fall, without planing it, we wound up having a few of the same classes together. I grew more and more smitten.
Then 1975 came around. She had previously expressed that she “liked me a lot.” I personally believe it was more than “a lot,” but although she was not stuck up on herself, she was of a upper middle class family. Her father (who did like me) was a successful businessman and her mother was one of the administrators of C.W. Post. I believe although her mother portrayed liking me, she also felt that her daughter could do better than a gas jockey. But then again, who could blame her. After all, what mother doesn't look out for their children, especially their daughters.
Well, I poured out my heart to her and she was not ready for a serious relationship. As I mentioned in “No More Looking Back,” at 19 years of age going on 20, I was devastated. I went into deep depression. Just before my 20th birthday I was involved in my first car accident. I was not hurt, but it rattled me. I made the mistake of saying, “What worse could happen?” Two days after the accident I was robbed at gun point at the gas station. I learned to never again say, “What worse could happen.”
As I plodded through the summer and fall something interesting began to happen. On my father's side of the family we had numerous family get togethers. Typically we would get together for holidays and birthdays. But this year there were numerous gatherings. Especially in the summer. Most of the people on my father's side were Born Again Christians. Although they were a family that would talk about anything under the sun, they also talked about Jesus quite a bit. One of them was a cousin of mine who was a year or two younger than I named Stephanie.
When the fall semester began, one of my film classes was the Art of Film. My professor, whom I liked quite a bit, was an atheist. However, he showed an Italian made film, “The Gospel According to St Matthew” that was word for word the Gospel of St Matthew. It was done in Italian with English subtitles. The film was directed by Paolo Pasollini who was a notable Italian director. Although it was in the name of Art, I thought it interesting that my atheist professor would show it nevertheless.
In my English Composition class, I met a guy named Ed. He had two female friends, Andrea and Stephanie. All three were Born Again Christians. What was interesting to me was that this girl, Stephanie, and my cousin, Stephanie were the only two Stephanie's I knew at the time and both were Christians.
Ed and I began to strike up conversations about the Lord. Anyone who knows me would also know I did most of the talking. I was also very cynical at the time I had met Ed. That cynical edge showed.
Anyone who knows me also knows that back in the day I could remember everything about a conversation. I could remember to the letter what was said, the weather of the day, what time it was, everything. Yet, to this very do I do not remember anything about our conversations except for the part that mattered the most.
It was a Friday, December 5th 1975. It was a gorgeous day. It was warm, sunny with a clear blue sky (if you can believe that about New York). Ed and I were standing outside what was called the Commons, were students had lunch at a cafeteria, drank at the bar (I kid you not) and there were areas of to study. Hundreds of students were going past us.
“Ed, I don't know what's going on, but I'm not looking for God,” I said. “But He's showing up everywhere I go. I don't believe in coincidence, but it's like God is beating me over the eyebrows trying to get my attention.” I then mentioned all the things about my film class, the two Stephanie's, meeting him, and the numerous family gatherings with my Christian cousins, aunt's and uncles.
Then Ed made a statement that forever changed my life. “Did you ever think that God had a call on your life?” I felt like I had just been hit in the face. I was stunned. I was shocked. I had no emotions. No thrills and chills up and down my spine. No warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart. It was just so completely unexpected.
I looked up at the sky. It seemed so huge. That was my impression about God. He is so huge. Then I thought, “God is so huge, and I'm just a tiny little speck on this planet.” I thought, “A call on my life? I'm such a mess up. I can't keep a good thing going for more than a couple of days, and God's got a call on my life?”
I looked at the hundreds of people passing Ed and I at that very moment. I thought, “Certainly out of all these people God could call someone more qualified than myself.” I continued to look at all the people. Then I looked up at the sky again. “God is so huge, and there are all these people here. Yet, He's looking down here at me. He has His eye on me.” The thought was staggering. Then all of a sudden it hit me. Forgive the cliché' but it hit me like a ton of bricks. “God must really love me.” Once again, there was no emotion whatsoever. No crying, no joy, nothing. But something did happen.
Ed asked me if I were ready to accept Jesus into my life as my Savior and Lord. I was so stunned that I said to him, “Let me think about it over the weekend.” As I look back on it I cannot believe that I said that. My only guess is that I was so stunned by the awakening of His love for me I didn't know what else to say. To Ed's credit, he didn't force the issue.
The only other thing I do remember is this, and this could make some evangelistic type people upset with what I'm about to say. Never once did Ed say to me, “If you were to die tonight, where do you think you would go?” Or, “If you were to die tonight do you believe you would go to heaven, and if so , why?” He did not once say that if I died without Jesus, I would go to hell. Instead our conversation led to God being able to show me His love in a very real way to me.
The following Monday, on December 8th 1975, on a cold gray, damp day, in my 1966 Plymouth Barracuda, Ed and I sat in my car, and I accepted Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Savior. Although it has not been all peaches and cream 2 Corinthians 5:17 resounds very true to me - “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature (creation): old things have passed away; behold, all things are become new.” God gives us a new heart if we're willing to have Him do so. God pursued me, although I did not pursue Him. I find that so amazing.